oh darn it!

just when i thought i'll be a motivated-to-exercise girl this morning, it just had to rain ): and i was looking forward to run in my jersey (: hahah. ayeee. hopefully it stops later so that i can still go run. and so that i dont need to walk outside with an umbrella. haha.

i need sleep, i think i might just collaspe from exhaustion soon. thank God for the kt trip next week, yay! (: then i can sleep like there's no tmr. haha.

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my time with God the past week has been crap. like so chopped up and quite dependent on things that happen in church to keep gg. sian. but God is faithful and he still allowed me to enter into his presence easily, be it for prayer or worship or just standing there and enjoying him! and i FINALLY did a proper qt last night (the last one was wed) and it felt so good to 'be back' (: yay! i need to pray for more discipline. been reading 'ordering your private world' on the way to work on most mornings and it's a really challenging book, even if you are not a christian, the values can still apply to you. and yeah it makes me feel quite disgusted about the lack of a strong inner core that i lack, in my case, one that is with God. (gloria!!! my pace partner, where are you up to? we need to pace this week okay? (: and must get nat too...)

went out with my mentee from sn yesterday. i realised that i find it hard to share about God with some of my friends, because their lives seem to revolve so much around the physical aspects, and there seems to be no time for themselves or even God. it's like you keep occupying yourself with things so as to seem like a busy/popular person but actually you're just in need of something else which is more important. something that can fill the God-shaped hole in us. and you know what it is but you just stand there, apathetic, finding it a silly thought or something irrelevant to your life. get into the zone man, God wants you to know him as he knows you! he loves you so so much more than we can ever love ourselves or others can ever love us. you need Him, because only he can satisfy and once you've found him, you'll never ever want to let go, you'll never want second best.