feeling philosophical. haha. no la. just thinking of stuff. today i heard my friend's mum got diagnosed with cancer. i felt a heavy heart when i found out about it. just this whole 'i've been thru it and i know what it feels like' feeling, like with every other cancer stricken person i've heard of/met/etc. yeah. i was just wondering if it were better to hear about such things when you are young and not knowledgeable about such things, or to hear bout it when you are old and matured and get all upset about it. not that you dont get upset if you're young, but just that the feelings at that point of time and experiences before/during/after are different. i dunno. maybe both are equally bad :S

had guitar lesson with shaun today. i was encouraged, somehow. thanks God (: and by what i read last night (YES I READ THE BIBLE!). i read ezekiel 47, and this verse stood out to me: "Fruit trees of all kinds will grow on both banks of the river. Their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear, because the water from the sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing." it reminded me of the importance of staying close to God and how it can lead to the outpouring of the spirit in our lives. yep.

and i realised that it's not that i just dont like crowds, i dont like big spaces when i have to do smth, knowing that im being watched. like lesson is usually in the conference room. and shaun makes me sing when i play, which is a good thing, but i get very shy if i have to sing alone. hahah. but today we were forced into the meeting room which is alot smaller. and i felt more comfortable when i had to sing and play. somehow. hahaha. maybe it's just psychological.

shaun says SB is changing me. like im becoming more outgoing. haha. but actually i dont really think so (sorry shaun :P). i think it's just how much of yourself or which side of yourself you choose to show around people i guess. i dont feel changed leh. haha. oh well, they often say people can see what you cant about yourself.

ack cello lessons, im screwed D:

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I JUST HAVE TO BLOG ABOUT THIS!

omg there was this big fat cockroach in the dining room just now, and there was my sushi on the table! it was at risk! the cockroach was on my bro's shirt on the chair. and the moment i saw it i was out of control and i kept saying 'cockroach! cockroach! kill it!' and my bro kept asking me where it was so naturally i said, 'on your shirt!' and then he started fumbling with HIS shirt (the one on him) and i was like, no it's there it's there (repeatedly pointing at the dining area behind him). AND THEN IT STARTED FLYING! omg i was exasperated beyond words! and my brother panicked like siao cos he thought it was on him! LOL i didnt know whether to laugh or to cry. it was hilarious. and i couldnt stop laughing even after i grabbed the sushi and ran to the living room. i was going to eat and watch ugly betty. then i realised that it could fly from the dining area to the living room, which it did! my tian, i ran to daddy's room with my sushi. and i made him help me throw away the container after that cos i didnt want to go near the cockroach area :S disgusting things. yuck. now we all have no idea where it is cos my dad didnt kill it cos he couldnt find it. zz. i hope it goes home tonight.

my future partner must love killing cockroaches. hahah. no la. just brave enough to kill can alr. hahah